WWE Raw - June 5th, 2012
The "Supershow" is getting less super by the week. Once again, we're reminded that Big Show is on a rampage via video package. To be honest, if he were causing so much destruction, I think people would remember. But WWE doesn't think that highly of the fans, it would seem.
Michael Cole is in the ring to start the show, calling John Cena down. I could write paragraphs about this, but it boils down to the same excuses Cena gave for not helping out Show that we've heard for two weeks. Cole tells Cena he's overrated and no longer interesting. Big Johnny rolls out and says that in the interest of fairness, Cena can pick his opponent tonight. Cena wants Johnny, but he says he's retired. Instead, Cena picks Cole. Cole is an announcer, and as we were JUST reminded, Cena can't put his hands on him. So Cena picks him as an opponent. Logical. As Johnny leaves, Cena mocks his voice, which as of two weeks ago was an offense that could get you fired; now there's no repercussion at all. This is all so lazy it hurts. Johnny tells Cole that in the interest of People Power (and an impending job evaluation), he isn't sneaking out of this match.
Match 1 - Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion), non-title
Winner: Sheamus via pinfall
A repeat of their match from Smackdown, with some minor differences. Again, we see the White Noise to Brough Kick combination, but to be fair, Sheamus and Ziggler played this to perfection. If there's a match I don't mind seeing more than once, this is it, but Ziggler could use some wins if he's supposed to be breaking out on his own.
After the match, del Rio and Ricardo attack Sheamus from behind and ends up hanging Sheamus off the stage in the Cross Armbreaker. Set up for the PPV, but this match and this attack together get less time than Cole and Cena to only barely touch on the 'main event' for the same show. Nobody in charge sees an issue with this.
In the back, David Otunga and Johnny are discussing Vince McMahon's return next week (Which is also a 3 hour Raw). Vince will conduct Ace's job eval himself. Vince was removed from power last time we saw him. Ratings panic makes these people make atrocious decisions.
Match 2 - Sin Cara vs Hunico
Winner: Sin Cara via pinfall
Solid action, ending in La Mistica and a pinfall. The only complaint I could possibly lobby here is that this deserved three times as much time as it got. Three minutes isn't enough to build stars and Hunico is more than good enough in the ring to be elevated above where he is at the moment. Sin Cara seems very crisp after his time off.
A Raw 1000th episode memory moment: John Cena comes to Raw as champion in 2005
Match 3 - Stan Stanksy and Arthur Rosenberg vs Ryback
Winner: Ryback via pinfall
Ryback kills two guys. His pyro is still not shown on screen. Ryback gave one of these guys the highest toss I've ever seen in a wrestling match. He also delivered a lariat to both guys with one arm. Same formula, couple minor changes. If Ryback wants to be fed more, he needs real opponents. If he were actually a character, wouldn't he be asking for better opponents in the back??
Match 4 - CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs Kane, non-title, There must be a winner
Winner: Kane via pinfall
The WWE Champ is again the top of the hour main event. Billed an hour before John Cena vs Michael Cole. Fuck. Daniel Bryan is out and has a Q&A session with the crowd: Has AJ gone delusional? YES! Will Kane destroy Punk? YES! At No Way Out, will he leave as WWE Champion? YES! YES! YES! The match goes on, much like Smackdown and AJ ends up at ringside. After some ringside shenanigans and AJ's presence on the apron, Punk takes a Chokeslam. AJ is caught in the ring with Kane and Bryan takes the opportunity to attack Kane from behind (were we supposed to think he's defending AJ? That's up in the air.) but gets booted away. AJ shifts from a look of fear to a cute smile and Kane bails from the ring. If Kane thinks you're too nuts to deal with, you are indeed a crazy chick.
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Josh Matthews catches up with AJ in the back and asks what was with the look she gave Kane. She likes when men look at her. She flirts with Josh a bit, says maybe he's her type and heads off. Perhaps a shift from a crazy chick to a manipulative bitch? She's better in every role she plays than the other divas that get on TV. Let this program finish out, decide with whom she ends up and then put her on the fast track to the Diva's title. It's only right.
Big Show gives a sit down interview akin to the one Brock Lesnar gave before the match with Cena. Show wants to correct the fact that his legacy is him as a fool. He does what he wants; he's not an entertaininer He's a giant. This is the attitude he should have always had.
Match 5 - Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (Tag Champions) vs Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins, non-title
Winners: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth via pinfall
I faded in and out on this one. Fairly standard tag with Kofi doing all his usual high flying and barely selling his taped up midsection from the Big Show attack. Nice to see Reks and Hawkins on television; they could be an effective tag team if used regularly.
A Raw 1000th episode memory moment: HHH returns in 2002 after his quad injury. The crowd goes wild.
John Cena enters the ring, eager to beat up Michael Cole. Big Johnny rides out and says that he always over delivers. If Cena can beat "this man", his match with Cole will be no DQ. Tensai is introduced.
Match 6 - John Cena vs Tensai
Winner: John cena via pinfall
Tensai looks good in this match; he's much better with a back and forth bit of action than a 5 minute squash. Cena lands an Attitude Adjustment from outta nowhere for a pin.
Match 7 - John Cena vs Michael Cole
Winner: John Cena via pinfall
Cole is belligerent after running away. Cena takes off Cole's pants and chops his chest. Cena forces Cole to apologize to Lawler and JR for his general turd-ness. Cena pours JR's BBQ sauce on Cole and sprays him with an extinguisher. Tensai sneaks back in and lands a Chokebomb and Cole covers for a near two. Cena lands another Attitutde Adjustment and wins. Whatever.
This is how the last twenty minutes of Raw was spent. This is why the WWE Champion couldn't be the main event of his show. Next week we get three hours, and in July, they shift to three hours every week. It's not looking good. If they don't make a concerted effort to fill that 'extra' hour with some good action and some real storyline work, they're going to be upset when the ratings averages get skewed. And if I know WWE, that will get taken out on the guys that "we" are fans of; it sure as hell won't get taken out on John Cena. And that's not even to mention the ludicrousness of Cena treating Cole like this with the "B.A.Star" campaign ongoing. Vince, with no power, returns next week. He'll probably get blown up in another limo on the way out.